


Homecoming/To Wander

by inviernos



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, F/M, HighSpecs, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, it's HighSpecs but very Aranea-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 11:52:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12581308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inviernos/pseuds/inviernos
Summary: Things just hadn't been the same since Aranea had found her way back home.





	Homecoming/To Wander

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween everyone!   
> This is my big Halloween fic for the year, so it involves some spooky things. There are mentions of ghosts, a car accident, and death.  
> If you need to, please feel free to avoid this story.
> 
> But otherwise, happy hauntings!  
>  ~~pls don't hate me for this~~

“Ignis…”  Aranea rolled her eyes, smiling at his voice over the phone as she once again found herself in front of the stove in her small kitchen.  It was a conversation she felt like she’d been having over and over again with Ignis for a while now.  She seemed to be remembering less and less as what felt like days passed her by; but she always found herself standing in this same spot.  But as much as things had been starting to slip further away, this was the one thing that always brought her anything remotely resembling peace.

“And you have to watch the soup this time,” he spoke from his end; although there was a strange tinny effect to his voice.

“Don’t get distracted and let all the liquid evaporate again.”  Ignis continued, a small laugh in his voice.

Aranea was hit with a sudden wave of déjà vu that gave her pause.  It really did feel like he had said those exact words to her in the exact same manner before; and not even that long ago, but she ignored the feeling and let the conversation flow on.

“I know,” Aranea brushed it off and whined into the phone.  “We can’t all be accomplished chefs like you though.”

“I would hardly consider myself a chef.”  Aranea smiled as Ignis scoffed into the phone.  “It’s merely a hobby.”

His words were broken up by static and a crackling sound, but she could still mostly make out what he was saying.

“It’s a hobby that you’re way too good at,” she continued, paying no mind to the disturbances.  Aranea wanted to compliment Ignis more, but she was cut off by another yawn.  Suddenly she had grown very tired.  It was almost as if just speaking to him was draining her.

This was just another one of those days lately, it had seemed.  The longer Aranea stayed on the phone with him, the more tired she became and the worse their connection seemed to get.  She could just barely remember another time they had been on the phone recently…or maybe it hadn’t been recently at all.  But she found it increasingly difficult to understand what he was saying to her.  And those few times she could understand him, she felt herself unable to say anything new. 

Some days he sounded crystal clear.  But some days there was so much interference and no matter how much she wanted to move in the hopes of better reception, she found herself glued to the spot.  Some days she could finally will herself to move to another location, but hadn’t remembered leaving the stove at all.  And it never helped her to hear Ignis any better.  It was like she was on autopilot these days, gliding from place to place so often that she couldn’t even remember the feeling of the ground beneath her feet.

And once Aranea had finally gained the strength to reach out to Ignis about how strange she had been feeling during this conversation they had had a million times over, she always ended up feeling like he hadn’t been listening to her at all. 

She sighed and continued stirring the contents of the small stew that never seemed to finish.  The smell in the air was new but at the same time familiar to her.  She had gotten this recipe right at least once before, after all.  And all the while, Ignis continued rattling off pieces of advice to her as if he were a recording on a tape.  She tried her best to listen to him speak but he was starting to come in so spotty that it was starting to irritate her.  It was time for her to hang up and focus on the food.

“Ignis, I gotta go,” she said abruptly.

As bad as their connection was, it seemed he had heard her perfectly this time and the tone of their conversation had changed in the blink of an eye.

“Oh.”  Ignis suddenly sounded extremely downtrodden.  Aranea was so puzzled by the sadness in his voice that she almost wanted to laugh.  She wasn’t amused by it at all, but she simply didn’t know how else to react.

“Goodbye my love,” he spoke in the same sad tone.

“What’s all of this for?” she asked, not bothering to hide the laugh or the confused smile that had been forming on her lips.  She couldn’t understand what had caused the sudden change, and dwelling too hard on it would only continue to exhaust her. 

“I’ll see you later, Ignis,” she said gently.  “You know I will.”

There was a crackle of static, louder than what she’d experienced so far and Aranea had to rip the phone away from her ear.  She stared at the “call ended” screen.  Ignis hadn’t even replied.  And she was too tired to dial the number and try to have this conversation yet another time.

She sighed regretfully, and turned her attention completely to the contents of the pot in front of her.  Its contents continued to boil and she watched the steam drift into the vents above as she desperately tried to shake off the feeling that something wasn’t right between them.  Something hadn’t been right with _her_ for a long time and she still couldn’t figure out what it was. 

Despite the heat coming off of the stove, Aranea shuddered as memories of the happier times they spent together flew across her mind in a whirlwind.  It was the middle of summer and she knew she remembered it being very warm out earlier, but a chilly air blew through her kitchen.  The scene was new, but at the same time it forever remained the same.  Aranea ignored the new wave of déjà vu and leaned carefully over the pot in front of her to take in a whiff of the stew.  The familiar smells of spices coming together into an impressive aroma gently filled her nose once again, and it was finally time for a taste test.

Aranea grabbed the spoon from the counter to the side of the stove.  She smiled; at least some things in the kitchen were still in the right place.  She dipped the spoon into the still boiling soup and slowly brought it up to her lips.

But even though she could see the stew boiling and the flames steady on the underside of the pot, she could barely feel the heat coming from the small spoon in front of her.  The cold breeze she had felt blow through the kitchen earlier was still blowing steadily; it was beginning to feel more like she was surrounded by ice.

Still, she blew on the spoon carefully and hesitated.  Aranea blinked, as she opened her eyes the sight of the stew cooking on the pot before her began to break away.  Pieces of the metal cookery began to go missing, glitching away as if it had never been there in the first place.  Her heart began to race and the more she tried to blink it away in the desperate hopes that everything would go back to what she remembered, the more the images before her changed.  Sometimes the stove and pot were completely intact before her.  She would blink again and the stove would be a completely different model and color.  She would blink yet again and the scene in front of her would look almost completely transparent until color and detail began to fill in, and she was looking at her kitchen just as she remembered it once again. 

The entire time the ordeal had taken place, she never once let go of the spoon in her hand.  Though her hand was visibly shaking, none of the soup had fallen out.  But this was her chance, she figured, if she ate the soup she would be able to tell if this was all real, or if something worse was happening to her.  Although, she didn’t want to think of how much worse this could get.

She quickly placed the spoon in her mouth, and wrapped her lips around the heated metal.  What felt like a rush of adrenaline raged through her as she immediately spit out ice cold liquid and the sound of shattering glass filled the space around her.  Aranea was defeated; with the shattering glass came a realization.  This was no longer her kitchen. 

Her arm dropped to her side and the clang of the metal spoon hitting the tile floor rang in her ears.

The sounds of shocked voices she didn’t recognize came from another room as heavy footsteps approached her kitchen.  She was glued to the spot as the kitchen began to change around her once again.  This time for the last time.  No matter how much she willed it to change back, it remained unrecognizable.  Sadness took over as everything came flooding back to her, just as it always did.

It was never the kitchen that had suddenly turned an icy cold; it was her. 

The pieces of glass she had not been able to see before laid shattered around where she had been standing at the stove.  She watched terrified, as shadowy humanlike figures made their way into the kitchen.  The beings paid her no mind as they crouched around the shattered glass on the ground.  They appeared confused as they looked for the source of what had caused the singular glass to break. 

Their voices rang in Aranea’s ears as the very thing she never wanted to see again flashed before her eyes.  The sound of the impact against the metal and broken glass that night had been so intense.  Everything had happened so fast, and yet when it was over, she remembered simply going back home.  She saw herself sitting next to Ignis who had appeared to be crying.  She reached out to him, said his name over and over.  She began to scream when she realized he couldn’t hear her.  She tried desperately over and over to get his attention, to get him to look at her, but he could no longer see her. 

Anguish built up inside of her as she was forced to realize once again that things were never going to go back to the way they were.  She still couldn’t vocalize what she was, some part of her carried on the foolish hope that if she never said it, maybe it wasn’t true.  But deep down, she knew.  She knew she would be doomed to relive this over and over.  She wanted to scream, anything to get out the overwhelming emotions she was feeling but her energy levels were fluctuating too wildly for her to control.  As much as she knew she couldn’t move very well on her own, she needed to get out of here. 

Aranea knew what the shadowy figures in the kitchen were, and it was never in her intentions to hurt anyone innocent.  She tried to calm herself.  She didn’t know if she even needed to breathe anymore, but taking deep breaths in and out was the only thing she knew to do that might help.  She took the deepest breath in that she could muster, and let it out as the outline of a very familiar figure stepped out of the opposite wall.  As they approached her the details began to fill in and he was no longer transparent.  She had never been more glad to see another person and eagerly took the outstretched hand they offered.  She closed her eyes as the whirring noise began yet again and a bright light enveloped them.

“Aranea!”  He yelled.  “Are you okay?” 

The younger man with the blond spiky hair was suddenly next to her on a couch.  Aranea finally breathed out as she glanced around and saw that this was her home.  Or at least it was what she remembered of it.  All of the decorations she and Ignis had picked out were right where they were supposed to be, and her favorite picture of them was sitting on the end table next to the couch.

She knew it wasn’t real, this was yet another scene created from her memories.  But she appreciated that this was the safe spot they always brought her whenever things got too much for her.

“Sorry if I scared you.  Looks like I came just in time though.” 

He spoke much too eagerly for the situation they were in.  But he did seem like the type to always try and make the best out of the worst situations. 

“Are you alright?” he asked again in a gentle voice.

“I think so,” Aranea nodded at him. 

“I think I’m fine now, yeah,” she spoke a little too quickly.

They both knew she was lying.  She knew what he had come to ask her.  Aranea no longer had any concept of time, but it felt like he had just been there to ask her the same thing.  Though in truth, this time he had probably saved her before she had gotten too wrapped up in her memories and caused a lot more trouble than broken glass.

“You know, it’s not a good idea for you to stay here…trapped in a memory…I know I tell you every time but,” he began. 

Aranea could tell he was trying to be sympathetic, and he tried to hide it but there was a tinge of frustration to his voice.  He was almost as tired of having this conversation with her as she was of hearing it.

“We’re scared that you’re really starting to wear what’s left of yourself out, Aranea.  The glass breaking this time really isn’t a good sign…” 

She felt a pang of guilt at the concern in his eyes.  In a way, she realized she was trapping herself.  And ever since she had realized what had happened to her, they had only tried to help her make sense of this.  She was reassured that they would be there once she was ready to move on.  But she feared that day would never come. 

“But y’know…I still can’t force you to come with me if you aren’t ready.  I’ll come see you again soon okay?” he said cheerily.

“But…” he hesitated, and Aranea could tell he was choosing his words carefully.  “…you really can’t go on like this.  I have to be totally honest…but if you wait much longer to move on, you might end up here forever...”

Aranea nodded as she took in his words.  She knew it herself that she couldn’t stay here like this for much longer.  This was what had become of her spirit and it was beginning to scare her.  Even though she felt herself getting weaker each time the memory played out, part of her hoped eventually she would be strong enough to make the transition.  But she just didn’t have the power to leave yet.  She wasn’t ready.  At least like this she would get to hear Ignis’ voice.  Even if it was just pieced together from an old memory; the equivalent of hearing his voice play over and over again as if it were a tape.

She was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of the man shifting and standing up to leave. 

“Just think about what I said, okay?” he looked down at her.  “We all know how hard it is coming to terms with…well, this.  But it would be a lot worse to end up stuck where you shouldn’t be.  We don’t wanna see you like that.”

“I know...” Aranea said reluctantly.  She felt a single tear roll down her cheek.  He was right.  But part of her still dreaded the day even with all of their support.

But the part of her that was still completely aware knew that it wasn’t safe for her to stay here.  And she knew that she was already overstaying her welcome.  The apartment was was no longer her home and she knew that.  She already knew that the new tenants could sense her presence at times, and the last thing Aranea really wanted to do was scare people.

As the younger man finally turned to leave, he gave her a reassuring smile.  Aranea steeled herself.  Closed eyes, and clenched fists she repeated it in her head until it felt real.  Once she finally got moving on this journey, there would be no turning back.

“Just one more time…” she finally said outloud.

“Just one more, and I’ll go.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading if you made it this far :3
> 
> I feel like this ended up being more sad than scary, but I did enjoy writing it. Now to go back to exclusively dealing in happy lol.


End file.
